August 2012
190 posts
“In your heart, you hate the piece. You want it to go away because it sucks. You...”
– Don Charlton, Why Designers Need to Act Like Narrators (via 9-bits)
July 2012
75 posts
“We don’t lift weights in order to look hot, especially for the likes of men like...”
– Zoe Smith, 18 year old weightlifter currently representing Great Britain at the Olympics, responding to tweets labelling her muscles “unattractive” and “unfeminine”. (via rawwomen)
2 tags
@cognoscenteaboutauvert & co
See, you and damned near every set of ovaries that’s met me seems to think Im going to stumble ass-backwards into a throng of delerious anglophilic nymphomaniacs, and yet on paper I am solidly convinced that I simply do not shine.
Its not exactly low self-esteem, I dont have the modesty, I know Im a singular product, but there’s no way to tell people that without sounding like a...
asherlockian:
i love my men just like my tea
hot, british and INSIDE OF ME
Isengard, you slay me. <3
fauna: This is one of the best pieces of writing I... →
rhamphotheca:
How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America: A Remembrance
by Kiese Laymon
…
Really, we’re fighting because she raised me to never ever forget I was on parole, which means no black hoodies in wrong neighborhoods, no jogging at night, hands in plain sight at all times in public, no…
1 tag
So
I’m in Menominee, MI now. Its cold up here! I can think straight and I don’t get sweaty going up a flight of stairs! Don’t get the visual into your head that I’m some sort of corpulent blob here, I’m just British; if not kept cold and damp at all times we break out in violence and start annexing things; something that if you have ten thousand Englishmen with you is...
1 tag
“Seriously : if you act like the only reason to be nice to a girl is to get...”
– Disorganic
Are you fucking kidding me? →
you have to click the link otherwise this makes no sense.
6 tags
Dear Britain
Im feeling pretty ambivalent about being British these days. Which might come as a surprise to you who know me as a jokingly adamant nationalist, but hey. [[MORE]]
I know Ive not spent a lot of time there in the last ten years, but Ive always felt a fondness for my nation, a sense of identity and purpose that I could be proud of, like a pre-senility grandfather, morally and ethically sound if a...
4 tags
Death by Lilo & Stitch
One Bottle of Black Label per person.
Everyone drinks whenever the movie makes you feel sad
Everyone drinks whenever someone starts talking about their life instead of watching the movie.
Hardcore Mode;
Everyone has to drink for the whole Fish Story.
Everyone has to drink whenever someone says “Family”
The game is over when one person starts to sob uncontrollably, passes out, or...
Her : Ideal first date?
Me : Afternoon: Bar, outside, sunshine, people-watch, Then a restaurant for alcohol-enabled talk. After dinner, a dark and murky bar for drunk then home/seedy hotel for mad sex.
Her : Was that all one date?
Me : That's my usual first date, yes.
Me : ...am I doing it wrong?
1 tag
How it works : Restaurants
If your place doesn’t have a website with a menu on it? I’m not fucking eating there. It is the 21st century. I want to look you up online. Take some cellphone pictures and use Wordpress for all I care, but be online.
Seriously who arethese people reviewing on google?
…WORST MISTAKE EVER! For starters, we ordered 15 orders of a variety of veggie-only sushi (totaling 60 pieces...
Seriously, just let go.
Alright, I’m done. I promise! I’m done taking responsibility for other people, I’m done perpetually putting my happiness on the back burner, I’m done waiting, I’m done feeling guilty that I don’t use that fucking twist in my head to help every damned person in existence.
I kept saying I’d pretend to be 29 until people started laughing and...
“Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though; ...”
– Robert Frost - Stopping by woods on a Snowy evening.
2 tags
Time for jokes!
Me : You think Im too nice?
Her : Yep
I was writing a thing here about abuse, but It got long, and Im tired.
In a nutshell : If everyone I know would kindly stop collaborating with your abusers who hit you, demean you, grind down your self-esteem, literally scream at you, and treat you with contempt and disdain, I’d really appreciate it, because I’m running out of faith in humanity.
The Sparrow
I cant remember who originally wrote it. they’ll do a much better job than me, Im sure.
So Its an analogy about a bird, basically. The bird (usually a sparrow, for connotation and conjuration) flies through the night, the great featureless, star-hung void, flapping through the cold and the dark, shadows of trees zipping past.
Suddenly it flies through your window, across the room, and out...
I got that punch line I was waiting on, Cos, you know, Synchronicity. I hope y’all are having a better friday than me.
Today?
Started with me electrocuting myself and blowing the fuses for the gatehouse where I work, so I spent all day in a glass box in 90’ weather with no fans and no AC.
The car was parked in the sun, because there is no shade. 4pm gave me a window into the brief life of a roast chicken; slow-roast all day, then peel back the foil, whack under the grill, crisp the skin.
I got stuck behind some...
A Wall of Text : Followups.
[[MORE]]
SC Said :
O.K So that was self in dulgent and for that i am sorry. What about life goals with regards to where you are at now? The meaning of life in relation to you? How other peoples perceptions fit in with how you see your self?
Life Goals : Every time I try and map past two weeks into the future something goes utterly to shit. Tomorrow is Friday and by Saturday morning I...
How it works : Crowd-sourced.
tirehaus:
“I like to treat women with respect, REAL MEN don’t hit women!” he posted on the reddit thread. It was less than a minute before it became the most upvoted post in the history of the internet. The code shifted as it evolved and blossomed into a cosmic entity of unspeakable power. There was a flash of white light and then, suddenly, nothing.
He felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned...
A Wall of Text
Here’s the topics suggested to me so far. got one? think its dumb? suggest it anon. I really dont care at this point, just give me stuff to occupy my head with. thanks. Edit to add : Asked a question or suggested a topic and I didnt address it the way you wanted? feel free to add follow-up questions or tell me I did it wrong.
[[MORE]]
Anonymous Said : My Biggest Sexual Regret.
I...
1 tag
1 tag
In truth I blushed. Suddenly 15 again, ashamed. Oh dear. Where can I put my face.
Becoming Bartleby
Bartleby The Scrivener is one of those stories I either read too early, drunk, or in that weird and malleable fug of puberty. Either was I was soft-headed and this thing hit me like a claw hammer. Its a disturbing story for me, with a theme of withdrawing and asceticism mangled horrifically with depression.
[[MORE]]
I stop doing things, usually as a control measure, sometimes out of a need to...
Hesperus : Which Shakespearean Character are you?
[[MORE]]
Depends largely on how Im feeling about myself. Hung over and wracked with pathos;
Hamlet, most likely; Tragic and brooding, unhelpfully introspective, obsessive and inherently self destructive and seemingly welded to a inescapable fate which costs him his love and his family, only to clear the stage that Fortinbras may give Denmark a better ruler. Or maybe polonius if Im feeling full...
4 tags
The boy who had rocks in his pockets.
There’s the parable of the prince who boasts of a clean and unbroken heart, and in that story, he meets a man with a ragged, scarred, Franken-heart. The prince recoils in horror, and the old man explains that he gives away pieces of his heart, and in turn, people share theirs with him. sometimes you give and dont receive, and sometimes you receive and haven’t given. Either way, the...
