Disorganic.

Well, I didn’t win the powerball, but I have a cat purring in my ear and a pretty girl in my bed, so...

Sat, 18 May 2013 21:56:29 -0700

Well, I didn’t win the powerball, but I have a cat purring in my ear and a pretty girl in my bed, so it’s not all bad.

Moxie, since you ask

Sat, 18 May 2013 21:35:30 -0700

Moxie is chemical warfare. Moxie is a undead hobo urinating into your open mouth.

It’s Soda flavoured with Gentian root, and was one of the first Sodas in America. Its still sort of popular in Maine. It doesn’t taste like anything else you’ve ever drunk. It’s fucking foul. Its the taste of history, like taking a swim in a civil war latrine trench. I hate Moxie.

On the other hand, I have a spare bottle which Im trying to decide between plaguing AZs family with or mailing to one of you poor bastards.

Have you ever dabbled in origami?

Sat, 18 May 2013 19:58:11 -0700

No. AZ, on the hand, is pretty good at folding the papery things into shapes. I can barely tie my shoelaces, she can make elephants and those spiky ball things and whatnot.

Hhhnnggh and its black and whiiiite

Sat, 18 May 2013 19:40:31 -0700

Hhhnnggh and its black and whiiiite

Moxie! Ignore my stupid moxie challenge voice and the fact the...

Fri, 17 May 2013 22:42:00 -0700

Moxie! Ignore my stupid moxie challenge voice and the fact the kitchen is a pigsty.

“why does anyone make this, Even the sink doesnt like it. You promised you’d drink it with me! That’s it, No more. Ugh”

“Its like flat diet coke and root beer had a baby that a hobo puked up. “

AZ on her way for mouthwash.

The opposite of The King and I:

Fri, 17 May 2013 19:49:38 -0700

I do this thing where people find me interesting so I show them all my worst personality traits because you’re so wrong, I’ m awful, and here’s a 45 minute PowerPoint presentation showing you why also there won’t be questions because ill be in the shower, scrubbing myself raw and sobbing uncontrollably.

Is there some specific reason for bbq sauce as opposed to some other condiment?

Fri, 17 May 2013 18:55:00 -0700

I saw the bottle of Famous Daves Sweet & Sassy in the fridge just after seeing a friend on FB flag one of those foursquare notes and Im all “lol foursquare” and then ding, Idea. These are the quality ideas Im going to be sharing with you all now that I have forsworn the Drafts box.

Look, all Im saying is if you use foursquare to tell the world you’re at the movies and come...

Fri, 17 May 2013 16:13:00 -0700

Look, all Im saying is if you use foursquare to tell the world you’re at the movies and come home to find some scallywag has poured an entire bottle of bbq sauce into your bed while you were out, then you’re partially responsible.

Photo

Fri, 17 May 2013 14:38:32 -0700

Man, I cant think for shit today.

Fri, 17 May 2013 12:55:28 -0700

Man, I cant think for shit today.

#1 thing I miss about living in the English countryside : cat flaps and pets that shit outdoors...

Fri, 17 May 2013 12:20:40 -0700

#1 thing I miss about living in the English countryside : cat flaps and pets that shit outdoors in fields.

Did you know that Disorganic’s body is over 85% Ginger Soda?

Fri, 17 May 2013 11:16:21 -0700

Did you know that Disorganic’s body is over 85% Ginger Soda?

Dream time!

Fri, 17 May 2013 08:42:00 -0700

You know you live my incredibly convoluted dreams, right? This one is a doozy.

I am skin and bananas. Literally. I don’t bleed. If you took a kitchen knife to me and sliced off my arm, you’d find peeled bananas instead. Solid, all the way through.

It was a super huge secret that I was dying to tell people but couldn’t because I was afraid of both judgement, and being eaten.

~fin~

I think I just blew a fuse in my head.

Fri, 17 May 2013 08:31:49 -0700

I think I just blew a fuse in my head.

So my drafts folder got ridiculous, so Im not going to use it anymore. ideas either get finished or...

Fri, 17 May 2013 03:57:58 -0700

So my drafts folder got ridiculous, so Im not going to use it anymore. ideas either get finished or they get scrapped, even if they’re fucking atrocious. so basically expect the quality of everything I write to get worse.

you know, 4/10 to 2/10 kind of thing.

Doggerel ideas.

Fri, 17 May 2013 01:08:59 -0700

You never wrote about me
You didn’t cut my hair
Didn’t gush melodramatically
As if you didn’t care
So nobody will know that yours were the lips I kissed
Or of those faltering emotions that we wanted to exist
So it’s as if I were never there at all
I can only feel embarrassed that it hurt me to my core
Was I never worth the effort
To find the words to write about?
Or are you just ashamed of me?
Out, damned spot. Out.

Alimony was dead the second we admitted that men should also be entitled to claim it, but like all...

Fri, 17 May 2013 01:01:23 -0700

Alimony was dead the second we admitted that men should also be entitled to claim it, but like all the lumbering shoggoths of patriarchy, it keeps stumbling forward, not yet fully realising the heart is no longer beating.

Huh. Stoppard has a writing credit for Shakespeare in Love.

Thu, 16 May 2013 20:25:18 -0700

Huh. Stoppard has a writing credit for Shakespeare in Love.

hhhhnnng

Thu, 16 May 2013 18:57:12 -0700

hhhhnnng

Do you know about Sinfest?

Thu, 16 May 2013 18:26:00 -0700

Do you know about Sinfest?